Or is it crunch time?)
It's here . . . I go on autopilot from now until the show! I am just barely hanging on. I actually got written up at work for being such a damn flake, and I'm sorry to say they were not out of line there. I have been so careless and forgetful – missing deadlines, forgetting to make important phone calls, misplacing important files. I took what I had coming to me; didn't get defensive. I just said I was very sorry for allowing this to happen and that I thought their actions were fair. So now I'm extra careful, leaving myself little reminders all over the place, checking in with the manager constantly.
You should see my apartment . . . it's covered in little post-it notes reminding me to do really mundane things: “Clean pet cages.” “Mop kitchen.” “Mail truck payment.”
Today at practice, Coach sent me home early because I was so dizzy I could barely stand up, much less remember my choreography. She said I shouldn't be feeling like this for another week or so; guess I'm ahead of my game like always!
What the hell is wrong with me? Well, I am 9% bodyfat. Some of you may remember an RFN I did about physical strength and stupid retardo vegetarian diets. If you don't have a certain amount of fat in your diet and on your body, things like the above scenarios will happen to you. I'm shutting down, and likely won't be back to normal until after the show when I get my damn nachos. Complex carbs and healthy fats are brain food, and I eat mainly lean proteins and green vegetables.
To put it in perspective: an average female is 25% fat. An athlete may be around 20%. At 15% you will start to see that six-pack. Women clinically diagnosed with anorexia nervosa are around 10%. And I am lower than 10%. I feel pretty damn bad most of the time.
But, this is temporary . . . between contests I usually get to the 20% mark with a huge rebound in strength, energy, mental clarity and well-being.
So, I may be slower than usual when responding to emails, FAQs and letters. I gotta do what I do.
It was like this last year too, and I was nowhere near as lean as I am now. I remember packing up gym clothes, driving to the gym, then realizing I had packed nothing but eight pairs of socks. Most of my gym clothes have been purchased at the closest Wal-Mart or Fred Meyer; didn't want to drive back home and get them. I'm really bad at remembering my shoes too. Recently this summer I took a vacation to my family's beach house, and did not bring shoes or a coat. Luckily my dad got me some while I was there.
I am so glad I will have a ride to the show this year! I hate driving when I can't think. And, honestly, it's not like I was that brilliant to start with!
Many people give me breaks when I am like this. One of the guys at the gym finally said something to me about how I park across three parking spaces, and another guy immediately cut him off, saying “Dude, she's pre-contest!!!” I can usually count on everyone getting out of my way so I can use the equipment and not have to wait.
Speaking of the truck . . . I'm finding more and more neat gadgets! It has all these idiot lights and idiot cameras that come on when you're about to do something idiotic, like bump into something. There's a video camera that automatically comes on every time I reverse. These things are very useful to someone like me, who can't seem to drive anywhere without hitting a curb. Unfortunately it doesn't come with a “learn to park this damn thing” feature. I can't park at home either, so I'm lucky I don't have to share the parking lot with anyone.
Let's see . . . I mentioned a while back about how I got rid of all my white power tattoos, which is of course the worst thing in the whole world any white nationalist can ever do. But, check this out: I also threw out all my white power CDs, because I decided the music was worthless swill!
Now, I still like some of No Remorse and Prussian Blue. Actually I kept the Prussian Blue CDs. But I'm fine with listening to No Remorse on YouTube occasionally. I don't need to own any CDs.
You know what I really like as far as white music? The stuff Harold finds for RFN. That's real music. That's good stuff, and that is what I think of when I think of white power music now, as opposed to “Badass to the bone/skinhead superstar” or the ubiquitous “kill all niggers.”
Now some FAQ, still just as unimaginative as the last. Come on, guys.
1. What kind of music do you like?And, not a question, but a comment that several people have made: they like the podcast better than the blog. Hey, so do I. Yes, I'd love to do more podcasts. It wasn't my decision to stop doing them. But I am not going to start my own radio show; I may still go with my own website. In the meantime, if you want my podcasts back so badly, here are some things you can do:
Since we're on the subject . . . I hate to say “all kinds” but really, it's hard to find music I don't like. I listen to Rob Zombie, the Beach Boys, Carrie Underwood, the Doors, Metallica, Britney Spears . . .
2. What do you do for your abs?
Not a damn thing. Seriously. The diet is a huge part of it; there's a saying that “abs are made in the kitchen.” Also, if you do a lot of heavy standing barbell work – deadlifts, overhead presses, bent rows – you will work your abs because you'll need them to stabilize you. But I've had a ridged six-pack for the past couple of months and I don't do sit-ups, crunches or any other ab exercises.
3. Why did you leave the NSM?
The NSM was a lot of fun for me; I liked the rallies and camaraderie. But I later decided that my energies were better used for the NF. I was past the “have fun at the afterparty” part of the movement; I wanted to do something I felt would be useful. So I wrote my resignation letter and returned the handbooks and patches. I still have the uniform though . . . never know when that may come in handy.
4. What do you recommend for a new mom trying to get in shape?
Moms get in shape the same way as anyone else. Why do they think they're so special, like somehow they need to do something different? It's true that if you're exclusively breastfeeding, your body needs some extra fat to keep up the milk supply, but we're talking like an extra ten pounds. So lift heavy things in a repetitive manner; do 30-60 minutes of cardio; and stop eating crap. You'll get to where you want to be. I gained 50 lbs with baby #2 and it took me a year to lose it. If you're not there in a year, you did something wrong along the way, and if your kids are, say, over age two and you're not in shape, you can stop blaming them.
- Have me as a guest on your show or the show of someone you knowSo how does that sound?
- Help me create a site where I can have a short recording every so often
- Let me record something and send it to you; you can do what you want with it
OK . . . less than three weeks now! Not sure how often I'll be on here, or on the Axis Sally facebook, but I will remember to check my e-mail at least. Now, I gotta get to my packing list, since I'll be taking a three-day trip and, as you can imagine, I wanna be sure I have shoes.